This is probably what our eyes looked like after Claire’s boss fight.
Judgment is an apt title for this episode, because you can bet Steve-O and I were judging it every second we played. And you’re gonna get an eyeful of all our negative judgments right now. Forget any minute positives that might be residing in the back of my mind, because those just aren’t any fun.
I’m going to spoiler bomb without spoiler bombing. Think it’s not possible? Well check this out. Steve-O and I called out the turncloak seconds before Moira did it for us. So don’t be mad at me. Be mad at Moira, or more accurately, be mad at Capcom’s crappy writers who have forgotten the beauty of utilizing the element of surprise in their favor. And even then, after it was basically all laid out, Claire was still adamantly against the naked truth. Why? Well, ’cause she wanted to see said character naked, that’s why. So, yes, Claire has another sort-of potential lover interest transform into a yummy virus creature. It’s like Code:Veronica all over again. Except now Claire looks atrocious.
With all that idiocy, we were already annoyed going into the boss fight. Like, “Yawwwwn, we already have two predictable bosses under our belts. What’s one more?” A big Pain In The Ass example of why I can’t stand bosses with prolonged invincibility, across-the-room grab and throw moves and OHKs, that’s what. That fight must’ve dragged on for 15 minutes. And of course there’s loads of wasted ammo involved because when you finally reveal his soft spot he charges for the poor flashlight gal instead of exposing yummy yellow flesh to the person loading clips into it.
Now that I’ve got that off my chest, let’s move onto Barry’s time on stage. At the risk of sounding like a broken record… I always feel like I’m playing a crappy version of The Last of Us when playing his parts. You’ve got the copy and pasted “I lost my daughter so I’m gonna make myself feel better by taking care of this young girl in her stead,” which is starting to get old now that it’s been in more than a couple high profile games lately.Then you’ve got the puzzles, which is basically what they would be in TLOU if the ladders and palettes were replaced with “battery” boxes.
The best part about it is the terrible dialogue. Barry specifically says, “I’ll throw my back out if I try lugging this thing around.” So what does he do? LUG THE THING AROUND. Like, up stairs and shit! Don’t be fooled by the conveyor belts- you’ll still be carrying the boxes all over the place. You’d think it’d be super heavy or something since burly Barry can’t carry it. But Natalia has no problem carrying the batteries. On the plus side, we were able to completely bypass what ended up being the boss fight of the chapter.
I have a question for those of you playing this game solo: How the hell do you do it? Steve-O and I revisited chapter 3 as Barry because we found a BP farming trick online. I opted out because I was heading to bed. Well, I ended up opting BACK in because the partner AI is horrendous. She didn’t seek out loot, point at enemies, or throw bricks at anything. And Capcom has the audacity to make the player spend BP to have Claire or Barry actually SHOOT something? Is this some kind of sick joke? Seriously, I feel for you guys because swapping characters constantly can’t really be enjoyable. At all.
Suffice it to say, I didn’t leave this chapter with any warm, fuzzy feelings. The final chapter has its work cut out for it if it’s aiming to redeem Revelations 2 for me at this point.